Getting a divorce may never have been an experience you anticipated having. You may have felt that your marriage had its ups and downs, but you believed you could work through your issues. Because you held this mindset, you may have felt blindsided when your spouse told you that he or she wanted a divorce.

Understandably, your emotions may run wild. You may feel hurt if your spouse simply does not value the relationship any longer, or you may feel angry if your spouse has already found someone else. More likely, you may feel hurt and anger, and any number of other emotions as your life turns upside down.

Stay in control

Though your emotions may tell you to use your divorce case as a way to get back at your soon-to-be ex, that can be a detrimental path to take. You may end up dragging out the divorce process and cause both your ex and you more difficulties than necessary. Instead, you may want to work to stay in control of your emotions. Certainly, that action is easier said than done, but the following tips may help:

  • Find a mood-boosting activity: It is easy to feel down when a distressing event takes place, so you may need to find an activity to help keep your spirits up, such as going for a walk or meeting a friend for coffee or to shop.
  • Identify your emotions: If you want to stay in control of your feelings, you need to know what emotions are happening. By identifying whether you feel angry, frustrated, sad, nervous or something else, you may have a better chance of working through that emotion in a productive way.
  • Stay realistic: It is easy for your emotions to cloud the reality of a situation and cause you to think of the worst-case scenario. By reframing your thoughts and staying realistic about your case, you may feel more in control and can work toward the outcomes you want.

Approaching your divorce with your emotions running wild can cause more harm than good in many cases. By having a clear mind, you may better understand what is happening in your case and what steps you can take in order to reach your end goals quickly and effectively. Remaining civil and professional may prevent you from making choices that you regret later.